braydaaan:

if i were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

(via braydaaan)


relahvant:

if only i could lose weight like i lose friends

(via braydaaan)


(via braydaaan)


(via braydaaan)


my dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow

(via braydaaan)


(via evolutional)


asian:

Perks of Dating Me:

  • I don’t go anywhere, so we can always hangout
  • I’m too ugly to cheat on you
  • Sometimes i’m funny
  • I live near a pizza restaurant

(via sexpends)


meladoodle:

coolgirlfriend:

boys who can pull off facial hair are hot

i think you’re supposed to use a razor

(via braydaaan)


pau1y:

what if 911 called you

(via braydaaan)